One Is The Loneliest Number.

So save your scissors
For someone else's skin.
My surface is so tough,
I don't think the
Blade will dig in.
Save your strength.
Save your wasted time.


August 29, 2009.
10:06 pm.
Today. Was an interesting day. Josh and Lucas stopped by. Lucas is moving to California tomorrow, and he wanted his shirt back from when I slept over at his house. Josh's brother Sam wanted the hoodie they share back. So. They stopped by for about five minutes. Whatevs, I guess. As they were leaving, though, Lucas said, "I'll probably never see you again." It kind of upset me, because even though he was only a fling, I liked him. He was all dark and charismatic and mysterious.
I dunno.

I am honestly scared out of my mind for X (let's call him Fernando). I love the kid SO much. He's like my little brother. My heart fucking goes out to him. He came out to me a while back, and he's having a lot of difficulties with it. He can't really tell anyone, because everyone in McHenry is way too judgmental. He texted me today saying that he was thinking about throwing himself in front of traffic. My heart. Stopped. I cannot even imagine what I would do if anything happened to him.
I want to save him.
Ever since William died, whenever I see someone in a tough spot or something, I feel the need to help them. To save them. And the saddest part ? I can't do that. The only person who can, is themself.
That kills me.